


Bottle It Up

by sephmeadowes



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 03:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/934507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephmeadowes/pseuds/sephmeadowes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caroline had made a list with over a hundred items, complete with footnotes. Stefan stared astonished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bottle It Up

 

  
_We can understand the sentiment you're saying to us, oh_   
_But sensible sells, so could you kindly shut up and get started_   
_At keeping your part of the bargain, aw please little darlin'_   
_You're killing me sweetly with love, love, love, love_   
_Love, love, love, love_

**-Sara Bareilles, Bottle It Up**

* * *

Caroline had made a list with over a hundred items, complete with footnotes. Stefan lay back on the sofa, trying not to look as astonished as he was as Caroline read from her long list of items on why 'Stefan and Caroline (or Steroline) made perfect sense'.

She cleared her throat. "Number One: I'm hot."

He resisted rolling his eyes and just raised an eyebrow. Yes, the girl was pretty, all blonde and blue-eyed American girl. It was no secret. And his eyes had wondered on occasion especially when she wore those flattering red dresses that showed off her legs.

"Number Two: You're hot." She looked him up and down as if to make a point.

He suppressed a blush as she scrutinized him. "Really?"

"Oh don't be modest!" She said. "Moving on. Number Three: We're both single vampires and forever alone sounds so lonely."

He inwardly hissed at thoughts of Elena who decided vampirism wasn't for her and had opted for a normal life with a husband, kids, a white picket fence, a dog – the whole shebang. That was years ago and it still stung.

"Number four: You like me and I like you." She said it so surely like there was no doubt.

"I do?"

"Yes," She nodded in affirmation. " Which brings us to Number five: I like sex…"

He almost choked and he wasn't drinking anything.

"…and from what I heard, you like sex. Ergo, we can have sex together."

This was just…that was just…he couldn't…

He was at a loss for words.

She continued. "Number six: If we get married, I'm changing my name to Caroline Salvatore and doesn't that just sound…."


End file.
